A difficult period of much alcohol consumption, probably contracting some sort of STD and trying your best to come out of 2014 with a slither of dignity.

Monday, 2 September 2013

The drunken mishaps, Serbians and 50 cent shots of Zante 2013 (PART ONE)

So, this tale starts ever so innocently with 6 friends sat in a back garden in matching t-shirts getting a little too excited about their closely approaching holiday.

Sadly, shortly after we left the house for some quality alcohol time before we got to the airport, the story didn't quite carry through the innocent theme. After arriving at the airport and playing Mum (top passport-holder-and-loud-friend-controller award goes to me), getting cheekily frisked and having a few of our bags searched, which is always nerve-wrecking with friends like mine, we finally got through passport control.

Ella and Jaymie then proceeded to drink a whole bottle of Jagermeister, forced some people on the plane to move seats due to the fact Ella was screaming 'IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU HAVE A CHAMPAGNE LIFESTYLE AND A LAMBRINI BUDGET' down her ear after this woman told her not to kick her chair.
Anyone spot the drunken one?

When we eventually arrived in Zante, Ella and Jaymie (still extremely drunk) star fished on the floor in front of passport control, and then got on the luggage conveyor with all the suitcases and ran around for a while. Although I was doing my best 'I'm disappointed with your behaviour guys' look, when on playback it was absolutely hilarious. 

When we finally got to the hotel, we got greeted by the lovely hotel owners, the drunken stragglers who'd managed as far as the pool before stopping to snooze, and the security guard of whom we're still convinced was called Nestea.
The highlight of the week was easily the UV paint party, which was something ridiculous like 400 litres of paint and 1500 people. Personally, I've never had UV paint shot at me at high speed out of cannon before, but it was one of those epiphany-provoking moments that you really value your life as you feel like you've been shit on by a UV hippo.

Me being me, and my friends being my friends; I did have a few near death experiences along the way. Before we set off for Zante, I had a meagre two rules from Mamma Hope:
                1) No swimming in the sea at night
                2) No quad bikes.
I then went out to break each one of the rules and endanger life just slightly, but heyyyyy it's all part of the fun.

NUMBER ONE: After one too many 50 cent tequila shots, me and Jaymie decided that it would be a more than delicious idea to see if we could swim to the next Greek island. Yes.... the next island. We went in fully clothed (shoes included) and we must've swam for about an hour and a half, no exaggeration. When we finally half sobered up and realised it'd take us a good day to swim there, we tried to swim back..

...to find the tide was going out. We swam for half an hour against the current, and got no where. At all.

But finally managed to get back to shore, walk back home absolutely dripping wet and then throw up all over Jodie's balcony.  Waking up the next morning with 'LETTUCE LICKER' henna tattoed on my thigh wasn't so fun in that moment of uncertainty of whether it was, in fact a real tattoo.

NUMBER TWO: On the last day we decided we'd venture out and get some quad bikes. This was easily the best day time activity we did and ending up on the other side of Zante was beautiful. But, due to the fact you had to give in a driving license, I got Jaymie's for her and as we drove out of the shop together I went to show off to the ladies and do a u-turn in the road (fab showing off techniques I know) and managed to tip the whole quad bike, and myself, and Jaymie, onto the floor....

Suffice to say, the people at the quad shop just picked it up, laughed and let me get back on it.

(to be continued) 

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Aspiring baby journalist, starting with a low key blog, mostly blogging for fun and because my social life depends on funds I do not have.
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